So . . . being a Dad.  What's that all about?

There are times when I don't want to be "Dad."  At times, I'd rather be "Father."  Has an old-school ring to it.  It conjures up of the paternal authority figure, aloof yet faithful.  "Father" provides for his family, "Father" ensures proper behavior from his children.  "Father" loves his children, but from a distance.  He takes pride in their accomplishments, as long as those accomplishments aren't too childish.  Children should be seen and not heard, after all.

I'd like to be "Father," except that I don't think that's quite the best tactic.  Maybe "Daddy" is better.  "Daddy" has tea parties with little girls.  "Daddy" kisses boo-boos and chases away spiders.  "Daddy" is a sweet-natured, lovey-wovey, slightly goofy kind of guy that would never, ever raise his voice, who always knows how to put a smile on little faces, who couldn't bring himself to any sort of discipline stronger than an indulgent frown.

But see, that's not really my style, either.  I know it's my own failure, but sometimes I get grumpy.  I like to play with the kids at times, other times I need to make sure they're toeing the line.  Sometimes indulgent, sometimes strict.  And when I'm in my best form, I strive to understand the why of disobedience and even allow for some disagreement and discussion.

I think I'm best at just plain "Dad."  A dad that tries to be good at what he needs, who tries to cover the spectrum from nurturing love to the guy who's always thinking not just about the behavior of a five-year-old, but what direction that behavior and mind is going to need to take to be a solid and respectable 25-year-old . . . or even a respectable and solid 65-year-old.

That goal of "Dad," though, that's something I miss.  Perhaps too often.  Maybe it's too tall of an order, or maybe it's just that large of a responsibility that the likes of a sinful man like me can't always attain to perfection at it.  But I believe whole-heartedly that's also a significant part of being "Dad": to confess to my children when I've done it wrong and being willing to ask for their forgiveness.  That's something that "Father" would never do, and something that might never occur to "Daddy."

But I'm not just "Dad," I'm a Christian dad.  And no less than Martin Luther his own self once said, "The entire Christian life is one of repentance."  Repentance demonstrates a significant truth, that none of us is perfect, and that we trust in the mercy and grace of the only One who is perfect to forgive, cover, and heal when we inevitably step over the line.

And perhaps that's the best kind of dad to be:  the kind that shows his children through his life of repentance that he is trusting Christ to cover him, and that he is trusting Christ to cover his children throughout the whole of their lives, as well.  The kind of dad that lives in and by and through the mercy of Christ and invites his children to join him in the Christian life of repentance.


- He Said

On Being a Mom of Many

  Being a mom of many offers me the joy of  reflecting on the many different personalities in my home.  

  There's a few that come to mind, one involving two of our oldest boys who for quite a few years just didn't get along.  Z was older and N looked up to him as his hero, he wanted to be just like him and that meant in every single way.  If Z was wearing a certain shirt or pair of shoes N had to have that same thing.  Or if Z got such and such for his birthday than two months later N needed to have that very same thing for his birthday.  

  There wasn't a time that I recall when we were traveling and stopped at a drive thru restaurant, that N wouldn't order his food until Z had ordered his and once that happened after reading the entire menu 6 times N always ended up getting exactly what Z had ordered.  Thus making for a very grumpy Z. 

  I can gladly say 15 years later N has his own unique personality and does not vie for the attention of Z any longer.  He can order his own meal and be pleased with the choice.  

  Our daughter M loves to sing, she will sing her heart out and sing as loud as she can.  She has the gift of song.  There are certain individuals in our home that cannot stand to hear the made up songs she loves to bellow out and will do everything in their willpower to make her stop.  Oftentimes sending her into a bucket overflowing with tears.  This is part of the joys of the middle years rubbing against the sought after teen years!  Ha!  If they only knew!  

  So, M as mentioned above is in that middle-years- area that as a parent you wonder as she awakens, what will today bring?  Will she burst into tears today at the drop of a hat or will she be all sunshine and smiles?  On those mornings where she's melting in emotion every which way, I just want my sweet little girl back or for her body to just give in and begin that cycle of womanhood!!!  

  Reflections for today. 

 ~ She Said